Aug 8, 2011

Let's burn the world together

I welcome myself back to the internet , while you are reading my words of wisdom
I am probably riding my pink turbo unicorn to the dreamland to meet my damsel in distress and kidnap her ... I do that more often than you think .
Well.. about what should we talk tonight ? About the fact that I drank so much that I sang Zombie by The Cranberries on my way to work .. at work .. at my coffee brake .. at the phone ? Or should I talk about a girl who pretty much toked over my mind ? Hm.. I bet you would want to read about that foxy lady with the power to amaze the Jack .
While the last subject is pretty interesting and funny , because I always said love and feelings in general makes you look dumb , act dumb and ..as a matter of fact I already did some fucking dumber than dirt things.. I can't help myself to wonder about this fuzzy feeling that runs like a drug in my veins . I like the feeling and I am willing to try it some more , need some more of this stuff.. eh fuck it I want it all . I will be the Scarface of the feelings and were you silly beings are failing and burning in flames I will succeed , and you know why ? Because I am that chauvinistic narcissistic fella that didn't believe in silly feelings .
So let's do this and after that scream " all the humanity " when the Hindenburg Jack will crash to the ground . All hail to me and my new hobby ..soul archeology.. digging little fragments to crop something I thought it was lost ..or is it really lost ? We shall see !

To be continued

Also I am sorry for not writing more and also I am sorry for the mistakes ( no I am not .. if you find a mistake I call it a trademark )


Jun 4, 2011

Ain't got nothing

My dear reader , I am smoking a cigar , drinking a glass of cold wine which gives me shivers down my spine , I just opened the window and some birds are singing in the night . The smoke of this sweet cancerous flaming bonbon makes me think about things a puny human should not be allowed to think of .
I am wondering why I have this lack of emotion towards people in general , the ones that are feeling this mostly are the girls which have the bad luck to met me .
I like to consume and move on , but lately I become more and more bored of this , I need a bad woman .. I need a challenge , I am sick of the first 4 levels , is like a demo , now I need to move one , aim higher ... but .. eh .. enough with this madness .
I meet some new cool people, I moved out on my own , I am dating two girls , I am drinking wine , smoking a cigar and enjoying my sweet free time .
Now people I am going to take a walk outside of my headquarters and see what is up with this old medieval town late at night .
See you on the other side , and remember : there is no reason to ever feel alone or down . I am going now my dear reader , but I am living you with this song :

May 2, 2011

Not posting and things like that

Hello people , due to popular request I am back with a little post . Currently I am trying to maintain my stamina for tomorrow's day work . I am deeply sorry I didn't do something legendary or even epically enough to write it down. I was just working sleeping , banging two chicks at a time , drinking tiger blood and checking my Adonis DNA like a master warlock . I wonder how many of you will get that joke.. It's pretty sad because I can hardly find someone who will get a joke about something like this , or an internet meme / sensation I am being ostracized by my own jokes . U Y NO Understand them ? Maybe because I aim to high.. yeah.. maybe I am becoming an hipster joker not using the normal mainstream " yo mama " jokes .. eh fuck jokes , let's talk about love and how love can make you dumber than dirt .
For my audience ..which consist of two 13 years old girls , The Easter Bunny and probably an ex stalker girlfriend .. which by the way almost broke my fingers last time we met ( yeah I am talking about you .. you are one crazy little sexy girl ..but you're crazy ). .. almost lost my idea , so we were talking about love , fuck love , makes you act dumb and silly , period .
But for those which in their sublime ignorance can still feel such deep things I can only envy you and say this : " enjoy it brothers and sisters, and just for you I summoned the King ! "

Mar 28, 2011

Peace

           I wanted to talk with someone tonight , with an complete stranger , with someone I wouldn't meet again . I don't really had a subject , I just felt the need to say something and than forget about it .
The only person I felt that would understand me, was me though, I don't want to sound like an 12 years old with a social disorder , but sometimes is better to talk with yourself than to try to explain feelings to another human . My theory is that every night I die and every morning I am reborn as a new individual , sometimes with a headache , and with my hair pointing to the four corners of the earth simultaneously .
I am listening to Johnny Cash, and I am asking myself over and over again , what am I really writing , I can't describe my feelings , and I know that no sane person should give a damn about my state of mind ... the epiphany you have after drinking four beers and smoking five cigars ... the love you want to share, that wisdom of a mad man that you poses , ah we humans are so funny , and you know maybe one time somebody told you that you are not the center of the universe , that others are more than you will ever be , that your opinion doesn't matter so much , and that you must stop being so selfish from time to time .
         I say... you are the center of your own universe , and for yourself your opinions will count more than what others will tell you in their life time , be what you want to be , be simple and humble though . Is better to let others discover that you are more than meets the eye .
        I am a simple guy , possessing a simple mind , people call me stupid and ignorant , girls are telling me that my chauvinistic way of life will make me end up alone with a broken heart , begging some attention, but I am the center of my universe , my world is spinning in the opposite direction , I am and I will be Jack forever and after , and no matter what you will say , I will still love you as a brother or sister, as a human .
Good night my friends and foes , my heart is pleased and my mind is blessed , tonight we shall remember the legend of Johnny Cash .

Mar 21, 2011

The fuck was given

       I tried to take a nap because tomorrow I need to get to work at 6 AM , but fuck me sideways if I can grab that motherfucker beautiful healthy sleep . So I opened a bottle of beer , lighten up a friendly neighborhood cancerous cigar, and started writing on my so called blog .
      I am currently listening to Clutch , band that if you are not aware of , I pray to God that you won't make baby boys because they will be automatically gay . Listen to them ..is one of the 11 Commandments , " Thou shall listen to Clutch until you pass out "
       *Cranking up the volume , sipped a quarter of the bottle and almost burned myself with the cigar .

I've got a new job , in a pretty nice place , I mean overall nothing is too good but at least I know some people and when I say good people I am probably referring to four or five of them , the rest of them are like.. neutral ..
I remembered that Libya or ..that Gaddafi motherfucker tries to play war with the western society .. yo Gaddafi who the fuck you think you are killing your own people like that ? Dude you don't have class .  I mean look at Stalin ..the motherfucker killed around 20 millions of his own peps but Churchill and Roosevelt kissed his red ass all the way .
Gaddafi I know you can do better , I mean I saw that the french fag frogs are attacking your country ... com'on you are attacked by the FRENCH ! 
Oulalala sacre blue omlete du fromage...  pfft ...
                    I am wondering if anyone of those two readers of mine knows who le fuck was "General Butt Naked "  Another classy motherfucker who thought that is protected by bullets if he's fighting ..butt naked after he literally eats a small child .
Is simply redundant ... So many fucked up countries in this world and there you are mr Gaddafi just fighting some rebels , not even owning a Death Star .. and suddenly you are attacked by the French and so on ..
                 *Inhales the last bit of the cigar , and makes a circle with the smoke
You know what ..this is a waste of time and lacks any meaning , is not even funny , and is certainly not an pamphlet .
Fuck you Gaddafi , and fuck everyone that would raise a weapon to slay another human being.
This the thing that sickens me the most ...we humans tend to evolve to kill each other more and more pro efficient .. why the fuck all those forces and resources didn't go to Japan to help them straighten their shit up .
               But yeah who the hell am I to ask those questions ... oh wait I know who I am, I am the guy with the natural born right to give a fuck .

Feb 19, 2011

Mesaj important !

           Buna seara , imi pare rau sa va anunt pe aceasta cale insa e un lucru destul de dificil ce presupune siguranta mea si probabil a catorva gagici pe care tin sa le salvez de la "zombie apocalypse" ce va urma.
              Imi pare rau pentru voi..trebuie sa va duceti sa va vaccinati , am fost contactat de persoane foarte sus puse , spalatori de geamuri pe zgarie nori ce mi-au transmis faptul ca la nivel Planetar a fost pusa la cale o conspiratie de catre Iluminati care dupa ce au pierdut un pariu cu Masonii au decis sa lanseze un virus ... da prieteni este vorba de gripa porcina .. stiu nu e un subiect de ras in nici un caz .. in nici un caz. Este trist si foarte grav ceea ce se intampla in momentul asta ,  am aflat ca cercetatori de la C.E.R.N dupa ce au esuat sa loveasca acei protoni si sa distruga Terra printr'o gaura de vierme creata de cantitatea imensa de antimaterie ... au fost angajati de catre Iluminati pentru dezvoltarea acestui virus .. AH1N1 . Acestia au tinut un porc in acceleratorul de particule dand viteza la medium low.. protonii au creat o senzatie de frig ..porcul a racit si de aici a pornit totul .
           Cum anul 2012 se apropie tin sa va anunt ca toti cei care au facut vaccinul poarta acum in ei cifra 666 scris IN CODUL GENETIC ...toti vor devenii zombie .. toti inafara de mine . Eu am fost contactat de sursele mele sa stau departe iar de atunci sunt in carantina , avand provizii destule de bere si nachos cat sa-mi ajunga pana cand pericolul initial va trece .
            Primele simptome ale acestui virus sunt :
- stari de stres ( chiar si cand nu sunteti la perioada )
- dorinta de a manca creier uman
- tendinta de a nu ma iubi pe mine . ( Jack )
- dorinta de a compune poezii
- stari generale de emoism infantil in cazul pustoaicelor de 15 ani care nu isi inteleg scopul in viata *
- lipsa pulsului .
               Imi dau seama ca voi creea panica cu acest post , insa acum sunteti avertizati si constienti de ceea ce se va intampla cu voi, oricum nu mai aveti sanse . Eu ma voi retrage in munti unde deja am fost contactat de rudele mele de pe Planeta Nibiru , tot acolo am un calendar Maias vechi iar langa  un mic mayas care lucreaz la calendarul Maias Nou .
       Pace fie cu voi , atat in suflete cat si in gandire... the great Nephilim are coming to battle the robot zombie nazis !



* Scopul fetelor e sa faca sandwich uri cat mai bune si sa aduca berea atunci cand Noi stam pe canapea si ne uitam la ceva interesant .
Nimanui nu ii pasa de durerea ta de fufa lipsita de creier , oamenii au probleme mai mari si or sa aiba probleme mai mari decat vei avea tu toata viata .
Degeaba iti plangi de mila pe messenger si la coltul blocului , parintii tai stiu de ce te bat .

Jan 24, 2011

What what .. in the butt ?!

             I spent nine days at my country side , without any link with the civilized world , I felt that I was somehow disconnected from this big network , the weather was awful , mud , rain and sometimes snow accompanied by the howling wind and the ever present cold . My grandmother faces this realm everyday , all alone in a village taken from the post Medieval times .
             Armed with my laptop , and a couple packs of cigars I stood there , day by day contemplating the wonders of isolation and craving for some signal on my mobile modem .
 I left that place two days ago , I don't know why but when I was younger the nights spent there were pretty much terrifying , I always thought that in the darkest corners was some evil thing ready to grab me . Don't know for sure if it was just a phobia but me and my bro had some pretty neat experiences near the forest , located approximately at 3 kilometers from the village ( night time , flashlights and some spooky things ) .
             Anyway the funniest thing that happened over there recently was ( sadly ) one of my dreams , well in this awesome dream of mine , suddenly in the courtyard began to appear some weird children .
As I thought they were really demons , and I , like a good wannabe exorcist had the job to get rid of them ... And boy how I exorcised the crap out of them... with some wooden bats , my personal fists and boots .. I felt enlighten , they were scared shitles and I was beating the evil matter out of them while praising the Lawd .
             Actually I never had been a religious type of guy , I like science ..and while magnets are natural wonders and miracles I stood there and accepted the evolution without questioning anything , unfortunately what Darwin omitted to say in his writings was that a small part of dudes are evolved from the "sus scrofa" ( Like me ) .
            Ever wondered what would you say if Satan himself will appear one day in front of your mortal eyes and told you " I have an offer you can't refuse " ?  I don't know for sure but probably in exchange for my soul I will butt fuck him .. I am not gay and I don't have anything against gay people ( hei ..more girls for me equals more sandwiches so it's a win win situation ) . But imagine the look on the devils face when you will tell him , prepare for "surprise buttsex motherfucker " Hell .. How can he drag you in ..Hell knowing that he was your bitch ? I remember that part from Prison Brake where the bitch inmates would hang from the pockets of their sugar daddy ..
             Ok.. enough with my gay adventures with mr Devil .. I am going to take a good long nap , and with a little luck I will dream something nicer this time .

So long internets and you two people which are still reading this non sense . I love you ..what what .. in the butt ?!