Rusting

  Hello there , earthlings , how are you today ? Pretty good I surely hope , I am kinda frozen , outside is a frozen land, where is that god damn global warming when you need it ? Anyway I just wanted to salute you guys, thanks for coming by , I would love to invite you to a cup of  mulled wine .. I just found out that boiled wine is called that way so now I am feeling, somehow, enlighten .
   As for myself I am pretty much ok , I really wanted to say hello to some people I would probably never see them again in the close future . Be good and take care of yourselves .. and also .. yeah I am talking about you now .. be happy , smile a little and .. I'll leave this here .
miss you ugly one

Unbreakable

Hello there people of the interweb, I wanted to talk with someone close to me , to someone close to my heart , I searched that person in all of my friends , in all the people I knew I wanted to share something deep and personal . Unfortunately I found none , no shoulder to lay my head upon , I was once an lunatic .. I ran from what I felt and I managed to carry that on for some time . Today though I felt like I was kneeling in front of my heart and my feelings , I can't and don't want to talk with just anybody about this .
      So I did the only thing that I knew it would somehow help me, I just opened a new tab , logged in and ...found another way to run from humanity.. It's silly and pitiful but I need to take this weight down from my chest  .
      I loved a girl once , I was young and stupid, I couldn't believe that someone would love me back,  but she did . She has a special place in my heart , although I tried to find another girl in which to bury my soul , I couldn't find the right one. I am feeding with feelings , I consumed a dozen girls and none satisfied my thirst for what I was feeling back then in her arms , kissing like there will be no tomorrow , knowing that she is mine and I am hers .
     My friends.. love is not only blind and stupid .. love is fucking retarded ,  I am trying to man the fuck up for about 8 hours and I am still not able to comprehend the fact that almost all the girls I knew once,  have a happy life and they are carrying on with it like I wasn't even there .
     A part of me is laughing like a devil in the fires of Hell , a part of me takes pleasure from this , the other part is tormented by former sweet memories turned in sour patches for my souls wounds .
          I don't know what is worse to be loved and not give a damn or to give a damn and not be loved.

This..this state of mind.. what I am feeling now , will hunt me forever , deep inside of me , I will not be able to rest until I find that girl, to rest my head to her chest and feel hear heart beating . To feel her living next to me ... 
 Sorry if I bored you.. I don't even know why I am apologizing , nobody reads this .. but in the case you had the chance to read this : Thank you.. tonight you were my closest friends .
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I kinda love you .. somehow

I wish I had something to say , I don't . I opened a bottle of wine and God is my witness I drank that sweet nectar of the Gods in less than 15 minutes . I am slightly dizzy , today I found that a friend of mine is in Oman , and she is even calling that foreign country " her new home " , I wish I could be glad and have a sip in her name but, fuck it I am Jack , I am just sad that I lost another girl . Damn you Oman ! For taking that girl .... Neah.. I am kidding , I am glad for her , I care about that woman and sincere being at this moment in time and space I wish her all the best , so be good take care of yourself and don't forget your burka ! Recently I lost my fucking conscience .. Yeah.. I know.. I thought it was lost since I hit puberty ..it seems not .. I fucking gave a big head to the sink in the bathroom .. I mean first was the sink and than was the bathtub , the result was a pretty nasty mark on my forehead ( it looks kinda sexy , I like scars , now I can brag about fightin' a pink cyber unicorn ) . My doctor said I don't get enough sleep and I am low on stamina. I played for the last two weeks Skyrim like a Dragonborn ... fuck it I even dreamed that I fus ro dah a bitch ... never mind ... I forgot that this blog is not watched by guys .. I mean I know that some people accidentally come across this gibberish but I am like.. 110% sure that I have two readers . Two.. psycho readers .. watching me..watching what I am writing .. I am desperately trying to sell my desktop and to buy myself an notebook to begin writing my novel , I wish someone could just buy this gaming rig once and for all .. and deliver me from this vice called gaming .. I love games .. but I know there are not the best choice for me .. As my father said ( translated from romanian ) " Are you fucking gay ? Get a girlfriend and come visit us ! That's what a guy at your age should do ! " Poor father he does not remember that faithful day when he caught me in bed with a girl 4 years older than me.. or that time when I brought home a girl and he shouted " what the fuck is my home a brothel ? " oh.. good times.. I do love my parents ..all of them .. Anyhow .. this is it boys and girls .. I am finishing my bottle of grape juice and plunge in the world of magically dreams where I can be what the fuck I want to be ..that unless a big fat black chick is trying to rape me again .. no seriously I had a nightmare about a black fat fuckin' chick full of pentagrams carved into her skin trying to rape me . I will Fus Ro Dah any bad dreams and if that doesn't work I shall call my dragon to help me ... I fuckin' love Skyrim.. is magical . So if you didn't understand anything about what I was talking about.. is ok.. I am the one with no alpha waves in his right hemisphere .. just watch this video and omg is so fucking cute I could die ... Love you .. sincerely .. I am so fucking alone right now but I feel that I owe you so much .. I love you all !

Meh..

So here I am again , talking to myself and to you my dear one and only reader. It's been some time since I had something to say , something that I would wish to say to someone or maybe just to myself , today I am maybe just a little more pissed about the society in which me and you must live . I see the lack of respect and that joyfully stupidity on most of the people faces . Those little pathetic excuses for humans are happy or sad with their insignificant lives , I am more and more a traveler ..of both time and space .. in this poor excuse of spontaneously existence . Sometimes I wish I was never been born at all , I saw too many atrocities that maybe somehow affected my mind to the point that I can not see the world as a place where I need to find my happiness . This world is driven by factors I can't rely to , we live in a decadent society driven by clowns and I can no longer laugh at their bad jokes , I wish I can find a place where I can be alone with my thoughts, I need to find a purpose worth fighting for . You see, I can't close my eyes knowing that people are freezing to death, I can't eat when I know children are dying of starvation, I can't laugh when old men shed tears, I am utterly disgusted for being a human and taking part of this new social slavery imposed by our society . I know I can't change anything , and maybe is nothing meant to be changed because maybe I am the lunatic and is not your fault that I am crazy , but sincerely I would want to push that " end of all things button " so fucking bad .. I can't feel your tears, I can't relate to your problems when there are bigger issues which nobody tries to overcome .. I am too small to make a change , and I will probably never be able to make a difference . I am not complaining about my life , I am content with what I have, I am at peace with my own self , but not with the world I am part of . I just want to fade away , close my eyes and wake up when our race will not evolve from wars and murder , when we could just get along with each other , you may say I am a dreamer , maybe , but I am not the only one . Now please excuse me .. is late .. and I just want to sail away , from you my dear , from this world and from this whole realm of ignorance . Jack

Lock you doors ☺

Well well well... Hello there my sweet innocent reader , I am Jack as you may already know, proudly presenting you a funny story. So tonight after a couple of beers I am sitting alone at the window listening to some good old Johny Cash when someone is forcing my door . I looked amazed and with a grin smile on my face I took out my switch blade , unlocked the door and with a state of mind saying " come at me bro " ( I have a vital of 100% and with another 20% booze bonus ) .. but there is nobody there . Mindfuck I say.... what the fuck was I drinking... nothing extraordinary , just plain beer , the drink of Vallhala's gods . The lights were off ( the lights are turned on by motion sensors ) . Well it seems we have a ghost / vampire / entity of unknown source , trying to enter my room . " ha ha " I say in my mind thinking about what is my plan when I will meet a being thought to be supernatural : rape . So I unlocked my door , pulled up a cigar , light it up and praying to god that my neighbor is not trying to enter my place I am sitting here and wait for the one which tried to brake into my place to enter , " come at me bro " I said in my mind while pouring another glass of beer ... I am Jack god of nothing and bringer of futile posts , bringer of sorrow ..come and get me... So..at least until someone breaks into my mansion ( and will probably be stabbed and raped ) I am saying to you goodnight ( because here..right now is fucking late ) and have a good time.. life is nothing more than a game with awesome graphics but shitty gameplay .

fuuck fuck fuck..and bla...I am too drunk to give a fuck

So.. I got my beer .. I got my cigars .. I got my head on my shoulders but my mind is gone . I am writing this ,slightly drunk , I was thinking about a name , a name for a new mask , people love masks , they always do , I have a bad habit of making them from used, or not , t-shirts , I like making them creepy as fuck , because I want to express what I am .. I want people to see that I am the guy which in his spare time is looking for new ways to improve a pipe bomb or that guy who will fucking love a zombie apocalypse just because he is really tired of this life ,, this routine .. this modern slavery . Don't get me wrong , if you see me you won't notice that I am abnormal , as a matter of fact I am not , I am just thinking ahead of my time , you know.. 2012 and the end of the world , I want to be prepared . Eh.. maybe I got too much time on my own and I am in need of a girlfriend to rule over my life .. let's go shopping .. let's watch that romantic movie , let's go out with my friends , let's pretend that love will be more powerful than your strong anarchistic desires and you will be nothing less than a small man , obedient at his most . Fuck love my friends , love is the definition of " I want my mind to be fucked at another level " ... maybe I am looking for some mindfuck .. who knows ..certanly not me , I just created another mask .. it's more metaphorically than poetry .. Jack's cutting a t shirt creating a mask , that R. will use in his daily life . I am used to smile when I will just want to smash someone's face , I am used to go along with the society's needs... but maybe one day I could be me .. and I shall dance around the fiery flames like a madman , oh how I will dance the dance of the death and sorrow . Fuck my friends , putt me in chains and lock me away , I am doctor Jeckyll mr Hyde and his brother in law .. Jack Crowley . I am out because I am too drunk to fucking correct all my english mistakes , I am a fucking romanian mother fucker , so please spare me of my non sense .. I can't write talk and make poetry like this while keeping an correct vocabulary . See you next time you perishable waste of time and space .

Hi, my name is Jack , I am R.'s alter-ego , in many ways I control his life more or less, I helped him in many situations, he's my creator but now I am his owner.
And for today , Jack will tell your sorry ass motherfuckers how to man the fuck up and take matter into your own lousy hands .
First of all , if you are a girl , than you are practically doomed to an existence in complete and absolute intellectual darkness... I was just kidin' don't let your ovaries boil to much ..
So first of all you must realize that for your own self YOU are the center of YOUR universe, I mean things actually are like this...* I am not joking
Let's take an example : your friends , family, job , and everything else revolves around you from your own point of view . Don't let others tell you that your sorry ass is not the most important thing in the world ( I was referring to your person , not to your ass ). Don't let others to take your place, don't let them rule your life ( you don't want to be a lousy satellite when you can be the motherfuckin' Sun ! )
It's a problem with some of us which are more sensible and more dependent, some of you use to love another person so fucking much that you let them become the center of you own existence . Now that is a fucking problem kids , and let me tell you what Jack told me not to do : Do not let someone become more important than you ! . I mean this can have many twists, offcourse that when is a life or death matter you are allowed to jump in an active volcano to save a damsel in distress, but don't let that damsel in distress or that silly ass prince charming make you want to jump in a volcano because he doesn't give a shit about you anymore .
I say : Take control of your feelings , be cold , be strong , be like Jack . Even though pools shows that Jack is seen by the women as an chauvinistic pig crossed with a monkey , he's right and he does bang chicks like is no tomorrow , you can't count on that !
The truth is that when you let someone else control your feelings, or when you trust them with them , you sign your own sadness contract . So you can moan and cry, or you can say fuck this , I just read a nonsense post on a madman's blog about how my life shouldn't be so miserable because of that idiot/bitch and I have a strong feeling that I should just let this pass and enjoy life , enjoy the company of my friends or why not enjoy alcohol drugs and prostitution (remember kids use protection !)
So I know I will have probably two or three readers , I will be most gratefully If I could see a comment down below , or I don't know a sign of life , because frankly I am tired of writing this and think over and over again that nobody makes use of my manly wisdom .