Lock you doors ☺

Well well well... Hello there my sweet innocent reader , I am Jack as you may already know, proudly presenting you a funny story. So tonight after a couple of beers I am sitting alone at the window listening to some good old Johny Cash when someone is forcing my door . I looked amazed and with a grin smile on my face I took out my switch blade , unlocked the door and with a state of mind saying " come at me bro " ( I have a vital of 100% and with another 20% booze bonus ) .. but there is nobody there . Mindfuck I say.... what the fuck was I drinking... nothing extraordinary , just plain beer , the drink of Vallhala's gods . The lights were off ( the lights are turned on by motion sensors ) . Well it seems we have a ghost / vampire / entity of unknown source , trying to enter my room . " ha ha " I say in my mind thinking about what is my plan when I will meet a being thought to be supernatural : rape . So I unlocked my door , pulled up a cigar , light it up and praying to god that my neighbor is not trying to enter my place I am sitting here and wait for the one which tried to brake into my place to enter , " come at me bro " I said in my mind while pouring another glass of beer ... I am Jack god of nothing and bringer of futile posts , bringer of sorrow ..come and get me... So..at least until someone breaks into my mansion ( and will probably be stabbed and raped ) I am saying to you goodnight ( because here..right now is fucking late ) and have a good time.. life is nothing more than a game with awesome graphics but shitty gameplay .